especially in NS, when you can't write about anything.. not that there is anything interesting to write about in the first place..
so many people keep asking me, "Do you ever regret not taking the path of being an officer?"
.. after all, I had a solid chance of being one...
My answer is yes, and no.
There are certain things in life that one can never be fully certain about, such as how life could go awry, and twist to something you couldn't even tolerate in your most terrible nightmare...
National Service taught me many lessons, but I plan to throw most of them away, and keep only a few...
i. You can never be too sure about how good something is, until you've experienced it yourself
No one can say that "Oh. I understand exactly what you're going through, so I will be prepared for it when the time comes". That is impossible. Do you think it is the same if you console your friend who lost his parents, from the experience that you had when your grandparents died? - It's two totally different experiences.
I believed that I was prepared for NS, after all, I had been in a regimented uniform group for 6 years of my life. I was in excellent physical condition, and I knew every single drill by heart. But when I stepped in, life took a downward spiral. Do I know? Yes. I anticipated the worst, but there are some indescribable scenarios on earth that go beyond "worst".
ii. Leadership isn't about commanding. It isn't about respect. It isn't about pummelling others to do your commands.
Leadership is about empathy. The ability to feel as what your subordinates feel. To put yourself in their shoes, and balance the equation with what is needed to be done. The greatest tragedy about SAF leadership is the inability to do so. They believe that one shoe size fits all. Which is a big mistake.
Leadership is the ability to make people laugh, make people reflect, make people change.
Leadership is the ability to make a tedious job seem like a stroll in the park.
Leadership is the ability to shape the future, without destroying the present.
.. so many people cannot understand this....
iii. Acting is everything... almost.
One of the amazing things about the army is the ability to hide the most unpleasant situations with army-deo. I learn that it doesn't matter what you do. As long as you show that you're pristine and perfect on the surface. It doesn't matter if you're a rotten egg underneath.
Piss off to those who believe that what is underneath the surface will affect the top. That is a horrid lie. There are those who are able to mask the most unpleasant personalities with disgusting ease.
for as long as they want.
do I wish to be an officer?
Yes. Knowing that I can make a difference, it gnaws at me when I see the inefficiency playing itself out.
However, dare I say that I would not become one of those puppets if I became one?
no.
I have said it many times, and I stand by my word. THERE IS NOT A SINGLE PERSON WHO CAN ENTER THE SAF AND REMAIN THE SAME.
for better, or for worse.
Do I like my life now?
HELL YEAH.
Book out daily
No guard duties
No staying in
No officers around me
No warrant officers around me
Nice little place to take care of
Friends from all walks of life
Free food
Free transport
...
I mean... it's really a dream job.
It just bugs me, when I see my friends who complain that they never had the chance to go to OCS...
do they understand what they're saying?
and it bugs me, when I could have gone there myself...
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